Mom, Can I be a Buccaneer?

NOTE: This post was originally published on 1UP.com in June, 2006


"Mom, Can I be a Pirate when I grow up?"

I don't know if I ever asked her that, but if it ment I could now shirk all my worldy responsibilites, pick up my pack, and sign on with a square-rigger bound for Port Royale, I'd call her right now.
"Mom?"
"What is it honey?"
"I want to leave Marie and the kids and become a sailor on the Elissa, in Galveston Harbor."
"Aren't you going to paint my living room? Can it wait till after that? Come on over, I'll make you some chicken."

Actually I wouldn't go. Why?

I just taught my 7 year-old daughter how to ride a bike today. In fact, I made a bet with her cynical 13 year-old brother that I could teach her how to ride it in 30 minutes. After two hours of sweaty pursuit, running beside her in a back-breaking, knee-jarring lope, she looked up at me and said in wide-eyed amazement, "I can ride a real bike!" I was very proud of her- she accomplished something she thought she couldn't do.
And that's why I love video games...

Huh? Okay- I did a flyby, so let me explain.

I'm a father of two. I work very hard to keep my kids in clothes, my wife financially secure, and my bills paid. I will be 40 in less than 6 months. I reasearched building a sailboat in my garage this summer and after looking at the nearly $5,000.00 price tag, considered that it may be my "retirement project." So here is my reckoning:

1. I will more than likely never cross swords with a man who is trying to kill me. So I practice fencing in the backyard with a wooden beater sword, and relax by playing Devil May Cry: Dante's awakening.
2. I will probably never travel to Mexico and dig around the ruins of the Aztecs while being pursued by a demon with a grude, because I just stole a purple amythyst eye from his shrine. So, I spend an evening with Laura Croft, and delve deeper into a Tomb, jumping from ledge to ledge and avoiding the spikes below.
3. I drive a Pontiac Bonniville- and while the raw, awsome power of a true V8 engine gives me a thrill in the passing lane, I have never "checked traffic" and scored a Crash-Breaker Take Down while launching a Dodge Viper off a roof in Europe. Nope. Never done it. ...Except with a dual-shock in my hand.

I play games to experience things I can't do in my real life. Things I thought I could never do are suddenly open to me with the press of a button, the investment of a little time, and a few hours on the weekends. Like my daughter on her bike this afternoon, I beam with anticipation and feel the exhillarating sense of accomplishment when I've made it to the next level, or found a secret room. I go to lands I've never seen, breath in vistas from unreal planets, and load the cannons while I tack into the wind- my heart beating in my chest as I finally position a broadside between two enemy ships.

You see, I'm a dreamer...

But in this Walter Mitty life I lead, the guns are always loaded, and the runway is clear for takeoff as long as I have a few hours, in the dark, with the sound turned down and the glare of the TV illuminating the hallway to the kitchen. And while I take out the last ship in the drone fleet, or fell the red-eyed monstrosity that guards the Sword of Thunder, my daughter is upstairs sleeping. Dreaming of tomorrow when she finally learns to turn her two-wheeler without taking a dive into the saftey of the grassy patch above the curb-

...and there's a Nintendo DS under her pillow :)

G-man